Browsing: Satire

The Department of Defense has announced that TRANSCOM is now officially known as PENISORVAGINACOM, in compliance with new Presidential Directives. The change aims to better reflect the agency’s mission and values.

The Pentagon is actively recruiting Black individuals for exciting opportunities as cooks and truck drivers. These positions offer unique challenges and the chance to serve their country in a meaningful way.

Fox News host Pete Hegseth has sparked controversy by ordering the military to paint a large ‘Z’ on all vehicles. The reasoning behind this new directive remains unknown, leaving many puzzled and intrigued.

In a bizarre and aggressive move, the VA Secretary has promised to punch every veteran in the nutsack personally. This shocking declaration has left many questioning the Secretary’s sanity and leadership abilities.

In a groundbreaking move, the Pentagon has announced the establishment of a Task Force of Task Forces to coordinate and streamline the multitude of task forces operating within the organization. This innovative approach aims to improve efficiency and effectiveness in addressing complex national security challenges.

Satan paced nervously in his fiery domain, his latest acquisition, JD Vance’s soul, causing him unease. He couldn’t shake the feeling that he may have overpaid for a soul that lacked the darkness he desired.

Learn how to harness the power of the Warrior Ethos to abandon allies and warfighters with guidance from Pete Hegseth. Discover top tips for navigating tough decisions on the battlefield with integrity.

Last week, federal employees across various agencies tackled challenges, collaborated on projects, analyzed data, attended meetings, and provided valuable support to advance the mission of the US government.

The US Navy made history today by commissioning its first openly-straight officer. This milestone marks a significant step towards inclusivity and diversity within the armed forces.

In a daring and deadly raid, Navy SEALs targeted a clandestine DEI cell responsible for numerous acts of terror. Dozens were killed in the intense firefight that ensued, marking a significant blow to the extremist organization.